Monday, March 16, 2009

Numbers to Call

In an emergency call 911 or leave as soon as possible.

Call the 24 hour domestic violence hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)

Or Call the victims of crime resource center 1-800-VICTIMS (1-800-842-8467)

It will take courage to call for help or leave, but it may save you and your children from a life filled with repeated violence and it may save you and your children's lives. One third of all the murders of woman and children are the result of domestic violence.

Have courage and know that the Lord is with you.

Reverend George V. Schubel
Interfaith Minister

Domestic Violence

"Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them." (Colossians 3:19)

The purpose of Domestic Violence is undo control in an effort to make a possession of the partner by the abuser. It is very dangerous and never to be tolerated.

While it is not always possible to predict whether a potential partner might become abusive, the following behaviors are often seen in people who abuse their partners. If the person exhibits several of these behaviors, there may be a strong potential for domestic violence.

Extreme Jealousy

Controlling behavior including controlling funds

Quick involvement

Unrealistic expectations

Isolation cutting you off from family and friends

Blames others for own problems

Cruelty to animals, pets or children

Abuse of sexual intimacy

Verbal abuse

Rigid gender roles

Explosive temper and sudden mood swings

Past abuse

Threats of violence or actual hitting

Breaking or striking objects

And force during an argument including holding or pushing

After abuse there is often tears and claims to never do it again. All kinds of hearts and flowers, but the abuse will just continue later on.

If you detect several of these patterns, you need to consider getting out of the relationship. Safety comes first; this is a dangerous situation. Seek help from your faith leader and contact the local Domestic Violence agency in your area. Do not tell your abusive partner that you are going to leave, that is too dangerous. Just keep your plans to yourself. There are no religious grounds in any religious tradition for staying in an abusive marriage. If you are abused, the abuser has broken his covenant with the Lord.

Reverend George V. Schubel
Interfaith Minister